Blame It On Me by Chrissette Michelle

“Blame It On Me”

Sometimes you can work it out
Sometimes you can’t
Sometimes you’re forced to watch everything fall apart — it’s out of your hands.
Sometimes leaving is easy
Sometimes it ain’t
Sometimes it hurts to know the loving you had was slowly fading away

You can say whatever you like
As long as we just say goodbye
Say it’s my fault
Say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart
I really don’t care
I ain’t crying no more
Say I’m a liar a cheater
Say anything that you want
As long as it’s over

I ain’t a quitter
I just ain’t the type
I tried to see you through
I tried to make it to the finishing line
Oh you thought it was meant to be yeah
I admit so did I
Every once in a while you think you figured it out
Sometimes your not right


Yes I love you but I really got to lose you
Freedom is where I want to be
Yes I’ll probably always love you
But I’m moving
I got to do this for me

[Chorus x2]

Brand New Me by Alicia Keys

It’s been a while, I’m not who I was before
You look surprised, your words don’t burn me anymore
Been meaning to tell you, but I guess it’s clear to see
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of me
Can’t be bad, I found a brand new kind of free

Careful with your ego, he’s the one that we should blame
Had to grab my heart back
God know something had to change
I thought that you’d be happy
I found the one thing I need, why you mad
It’s just the brand new kind of me
Never bad, I found a brand new kind of free

Oh, it took a long long road to get here
It took a brave, brave girl to try
It took one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don’t be surprised, don’t be surprised

If I walk a little taller
If I speak up when you’re wrong
If I walk a little taller
I’d be known to you too long
If you noticed that I’m different
Don’t take it personally
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of me

Oh, it took a long long road to get here
It took a brave brave girl to try
I’ve taken one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don’t be surprised, oh see you look surprised

Hey, if you were a friend, you want to get know me again
If you were worth a while
You’d be happy to see me smile
I’m not expecting sorry
I’m too busy finding myself
I got this
I found me, I found me, yeah
I don’t need your opinion
I’m not waiting for your ok
I’ll never be perfect, but at least now i’m brave
Now, my heart is open
And I can finally breathe
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of free
That ain’t bad, I found a brand new kind of me
Don’t be mad, it’s just a brand new time for me

The Constant Victim

The constant victim lives to suffer
For every gain is counted a loss
And for every blessing is noted a curse
Their friends are enemies that scheme
And enemies are those who may differ
Your fortitude is a threat
And they are menaced by your ego
For they are the center of the world
The focus of misery and pain
Why me and what have I done?
It is their cry of despair when all’s wrong
They live for regret
And they think in reverse
What is forward can only be worse
They have drowned out their soul
And envy bedevils their spirit
They pine for another’s possessions
Neglecting their own gratefulness
Pity will cushion their senses
But pity wears thin and too short
Oh no, they’re never mistaken
For only you can make the mistakes
And only you misunderstand

Posted 27th September 2010 by Pithom

A Declaration of Independence by Malcolm X

Malcolm X
March 12, 1964
Because 1964 threatens to be a very explosive year on the racial front, and because I myself intend to be very active in every phase of the American Negro struggle for human rights, I have called this press conference this morning in order to clarify my own position in the struggle—especially in regard to politics and nonviolence.

I am and always will be a Muslim. My religion is Islam. I still believe that Mr. Muhammad’s analysis of the problem is the most realistic, and that his solution is the best one. This means that I too believe the best solution is complete separation, with our people going back home, to our own African homeland.

But separation back to Africa is still a long-range program, and while it is yet to materialize, 22 million of our people who are still here in America need better food, clothing, housing, education and jobs right now. Mr. Muhammad’s program does point us back homeward, but it also contains within it what we could and should be doing to help solve many of our own problems while we are still here.

Internal differences within the Nation of Islam forced me out of it. I did not leave of my own free will. But now that it has happened, I intend to make the most of it. Now that I have more independence of action, I intend to use a more flexible approach toward working with others to get a solution to this problem.

I do not pretend to be a divine man, but I do believe in divine guidance, divine power, and in the fulfillment of divine prophecy. I am not educated, nor am I an expert in any particular field—but I am sincere, and my sincerity is my credentials.

I’m not out to fight other Negro leaders or organizations. We must find a common approach, a common solution, to a common problem. As of this minute, I’ve forgotten everything bad that the other leaders have said about me, and I pray they can also forget the many bad things I’ve said about them.

The problem facing our people here in America is bigger than all other personal or organizational differences. Therefore, as leaders, we must stop worrying about the threat that we seem to think we pose to each other’s personal prestige, and concentrate our united efforts toward solving the unending hurt that is being done daily to our people here in America.

I am going to organize and head a new mosque in New York City, known as the Muslim Mosque, Inc. This gives us a religious base, and the spiritual force necessary to rid our people of the vices that destroy the moral fiber of our community.

Our political philosophy will be black nationalism. Our economic and social philosophy will be black nationalism. Our cultural emphasis will be black nationalism.

Many of our people aren’t religiously inclined, so the Muslim Mosque, Inc., will be organized in such manner to provide for the active participation of all Negroes in our political, economic, and social programs, despite their religious or non-religious beliefs.

The political philosophy of black nationalism means: we must control the politics and the politicians of our community. They must no longer take orders from outside forces. We will organize, and sweep out of office all Negro politicians who are puppets for the outside forces.

Our accent will be upon youth: we need new ideas, new methods, new approaches. We will call upon young students of political science throughout the nation to help us. We will encourage these young students to launch their own independent study, and then give us their analysis and their suggestions. We are completely disenchanted with the old, adult, established politicians. We want to see some new faces—more militant faces.

Concerning the 1964 elections: we will keep our plans on this a secret until a later date—but we don’t intend for our people to be the victims of a political sellout again in 1964.

The Muslim Mosque, Inc., will remain wide open for ideas and financial aid from all quarters. Whites can help us, but they can’t join us. There can be no black-white unity until there is first some black unity. There can be no workers’ solidarity until there is first some racial solidarity. We cannot think of uniting with others, until after we have first united among ourselves. We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves. One can’t unite bananas with scattered leaves.

Concerning nonviolence: it is criminal to teach a man not to defend himself when he is the constant victim of brutal attacks. It is legal and lawful to own a shotgun or a rifle. We believe in obeying the law.

In areas where our people are the constant victims of brutality, and the government seems unable or unwilling to protect them, we should form rifle clubs that can be used to defend our lives and our property in times of emergency, such as happened last year in Birmingham; Plaquemine, Louisiana; Cambridge, Maryland; and Danville, Virginia. When our people are being bitten by dogs, they are within their rights to kill those dogs.

We should be peaceful, law-abiding—but the time has come for the American Negro to fight back in self-defense whenever and wherever he is being unjustly and unlawfully attacked.

If the government thinks I am wrong for saying this, then let the government start doing its job.

When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You by Marvin Gaye

You know, when you say your marriage vows, they’re supposed to be for real. I mean…
if you think back about what you really said, you know, about, honor and loving and
obeying till death do us part and all. But it shouldn’t be that way, it should…it
should, it shouldn’t be lies because it turns out to be lies. If you don’t honor what
you said, you lie to God. The words should be changed.

Ooo now as I recall, we tried a million times
Again and again and again, and that isn’t all
I gave my love to you each time to make amends
Suddenly I start to realize I can’t make it
Pretty birds fly away, I had to leave you for my health’s sake
What to do? Make you pay, for leaving you, my fine, is to pay forever
So if a fresh new love comes in, I won’t say those words again
Instead I’ll say I’ll try to love and protect you
With all my heart as long as you want me to baby

Ooo if I love again I’m gonna try a new way this time
Memories of the things we did; some we’re proud of, some we hid
So when two people have to part, sometimes it makes them stronger
Do you remember all of the bullshit, baby?
You say you love me with all your heart
If you ever loved me will all of your heart
You’d never take a million dollars to part
I really tried, you know I tried, oh baby
Although we tried, all of those promises was nothin’ but lies
I really tried, you know how I really tried, we really lied, didn’t we baby?
And on top of that you have scandalized my name
What I can’t understand is if you love me
How could you turn me into the police?

Didn’t I love you good and try to take care of you?
Best that I could
You were so divine
And your love was like mellow wine
Pains of love, miles of tears,
Enough to last me for my lifetime
Broken hearts last for years, soon break away to the noonday sunshine
One thing I can promise, friend: I’ll never be back again
But I’m not really bitter babe
I wish you all the luck and all the love in the world,
good love in the world (good luck in the world)
But I know you’ll never be satisfied
No, you still want me standin’ by your side

Memories haunt you all the time, I will never leave your mind
Got judgement on your side; you’ve said bad things and you’ve lied
Still I remember some of the good things baby
Like love after dark and picnics in parks
Those are the days I’ll not forget in my life
I’d rather remember, remember the joy we shared babe
I’d rather remember all the fun we had
All I ever really wanted was to love you and treat you right
All we did was fuss and fight
It don’t matter baby, take a lesson from them all
I never thought I’d see the day when you’d put me through what you put me through
You tried your best, you say I gave you no rest

(repeat and fade):
When did you stop loving me? When did I stop loving you?

Not the Doctor by Alanis Morissette

I don’t want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don’t want to be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom drawer
I don’t want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air
I don’t want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don’t want to be your babysitter
You’re a very big boy now
I don’t want to be your mother
I didn’t carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don’t want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
And I don’t want to be your other half, I believe that 1 and 1 make 2
I don’t want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face
At midnight, hey
What are you hungry for
I don’t want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don’t want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I’m afraid of heights
I don’t want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don’t want to live on someday when my motto is last week
I don’t want to be responsible for your fractured heart
And it’s wounded beat
I don’t want to be a substitute for the smoke you’ve been inhaling
What do you thank me
What do you thank me for

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

days that you can do *anything*

the phone rings, i cringe. i study the number and hit “ignore”. on another occasion, i decide to take the long way between point a and point b to avoid a certain someone. maybe i get an email that requires a response that i don’t have the nerve to give. someone on my buddy list messages me, and i sit really still in my chair and pretend that i’m “away”. at a bar, i’m approached to be involved in a meeting/organization/event along with some folks that i just don’t like while promoting/benefiting something that i just don’t believe in. i got fed up and cursed an individual out last year, but now, i need something, and they’re the only mofo i know that can get/do it for me.

then one day the phone rings, i know its a bill collector, but i answer anyway. i tell them that yeah, although i work everyday, i don’t have the money but damnit i wish i did. later that day i stand in the middle of the block, knowing that a certain someone will be coming this way at any minute. no, i don’t want to see or talk to them, but damnit i really like standing on this block. i answer all of my emails as soon as they come in. i initiate conversations with everyone on my buddy list and even remember to ask how they’ve been doing since that breakup they were telling me about. the words “sorry i’m not interested” and “oh, good luck with that, but have you seen the bartender lately?” slip from my lips easily and repeatedly as i channel my mother’s smile and charm. amazingly, i can grin wide and lavish unwarranted praise on just about anyone, and i have no qualms when saying “i’ve been meaning to call you, i hear that you’re good with numbers….”

every now and then, maybe about one day a month, i can do just about anything. i can put my *self* in my back pocket and for 1 day grow the backbone that i wished i owned 29 other days of the month. i had one of those days late last week. i didn’t really think i could do it, but i did, and i’m a better person for it. i think in some small way it may have changed me forever.

this is late

my prayers go out to the people in louisiana & mississippi. being from tennessee, my family is close enough to be touched by the storm, but far enough away to avoid devastation. reading the news stories and watching the video streams is nothing compared to what it must be like to essentially live the plot of a disaster film. may God keep both those who survived and those survivors who lost loved ones and may He have mercy on the souls of those swept away by the floods.

what you should know about me

i am
*a mama’s girl
*ivy league graduate
*sometimes codependent
*working out
*an avid reader
*an IT contractor
*sleep deprived
*a quitter
*unable to wear flats
*always online*

The Gaza Strip

Ok party people, I need some help. For years I’ve listened to news of the conflict of the Gaza Strip and the West Bank, but I’ve honestly never had a grasp of what was going on. So I read a brief history of the conflicthere and a few other places and tried to put together a summary in my own words for my own understanding. Please read thru it and drop me a comment if I missed the boat someplace. To me it seems like this:

There’s this strip of land that is called the Gaza Strip. No one knows what to do with it, but for thousands of years people fought over it. Back in Biblical times it was known as Canaan and later the Philistines (Goliath was one I think) settled there subsequently it became Palestine.

The Palestinians thrive in the area, however for thousands of years surrounding countries and empires keep jumping up and trying to take it over, but the Palestinians remain against all odds. Its kinda like how Europeans landed on what is now North America and despite the presence of native people “claimed” the land for themselves. Similarly ignoring the wants and needs of the native people, the Jews of Israel and the Muslims of Egypt have been fighting over the land since 40′s. A bunch of Jewish people run out of Israel to get away from the war and they set up squatters towns in Palestine, the place that all the hoopla is about. Meanwhile, all the Palestinians want is to be their own country and have a sovereign government. At the time the Jews kinda wanted to let Palestine be its own country, but the Muslims weren’t having it. They started performing suicide bombings in Palestine cause a bunch of Jews live there(1995). The Palestinians felt like the Jews should get the Muslims to leave them alone. The Jews wouldn’t do anything, so the Palestinians said the Jews had to go if they weren’t going to help. The Jews refused to leave the land and thus the Palestinians and the Jews start fighting (2000-2001). The Jews of course are stronger and have more soldiers than the Palestinians cause everyone has been on their back for thousands of years and won’t let them develop their own government or military, so the Jews are easily able to oppress the Palestinians in their own country. Finally, when Ariel Sharon is elected Prime Minister of Israel a couple of years ago, he promised that him and the Jews would get out of Palestine (the Gaza Strip). The big issue is that the Jews that crashed in this other country don’t feel like they should have to leave. So the Jewish government is evicting their own people and telling them to bring their asses back into their own country.

Now Yasir Arafat fits in here, although I’m not sure where and how cause I read that he was born in Egypt and shouldn’t that put him on the side of the Muslims? How did he get to be President of the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO)?

Comments are welcome. I’m really interested in someone setting me straight with the facts.