everyone knows that Tif and I subscribe to a rack of magazines. we used to have a glass coffee table with a crack in it. in a stroke of creativity, we started covering the entire table with all of our magazines to cover the crack. it became apparent that our friends detested the magazine collection, but in an act of solidarity we basically said “fine, stay the hell out of our apartment, and you won’t be subjected to it.” needless to say, most folks shut up talking.
but now we’ve moved on up farther towards the east side. new glass coffee table, same old magazine delimma. Tif keeps the Maxim’s, because when you put an entire year together, the spines form a picture of some half nekkid white girl. i keep the Essence’s because i figure they’ll probably be worth something some day. (we used to know this person that had a huge collection of very old Ebony’s. too bad she was a trick, mighta helped her sell them. *L* now watch her or her minions sneak and read this blog and cackle about that comment for weeks. love it!) but what the heck should we do with the old FHM’s, Glamour, Cosmo (burn it!), Kiplinger’s, Black Enterprise, Vanity Fair, Rolling Stones, etc?
Anybody got any ideas?
I have pimped my pen, on cold Michigan nights
and the bitch didn’t freeze up on me, when I wanted her to write it
I have pimped my pen in the hot California sun
and the bitch didn’t drip, smell, or run
as she turned the trick pages, from looseleaf to zig-zags
I have pimped my pen and she is number one in my stable
for I have yet not got a refill, for her
I love her that’s why she keeps, performing for me
I have pimped my pen… and she is number one, in my stable
Pleasure, is the treasure that the girl sells all day
Pleasure is the reason that she brings daddy his pay
Dedicated the hoe, dedicate for sure
Dripping willows on satin pillows
Love is being checked, from a hoe
Dead presidents still getting their fuck on
I’m so happy because ain’t nothing like a lollipop
that gets sucked, ALL day long
A tangy, little candy drop
I love it when she brings me the pay
Dedicated like everyday… to the sunshine
Yeah my hoe brings me mine
For life she says she’d do it
And I believed her when I accept it
Yeah I got pimp bones in my body
and I rock them, like la-di-da-di
I rock them, mighty hardy, like la-di-da-di
I got pimp bones in my body
*yawn and stretch*
finally! we’re back in business. in the event that you didn’t know and you care, the EverythingSoul blog family has been HURTING for the last month. see, Tif, the quentissential Biggie fan, put up an audio tribute to Biggie on March 9th. The kind folks over at AllHipHop.com put up a link to his tribute generating *major* traffic to his blog. As a result, the bastards that own our web hosting SHUT.IT.DOWN. Ever since its been almost impossible for even us to access our own blogs. Repeated inquiries to the host just served to piss us the hell off. Either they denied noticing any difference in our response time or they suggested that we pay them more money for better serivce. Da hell?
Welp, as many many mofos have discovered over the years, you can’t eff with a black girl with a credit card and ws-ftp. One thing black folks know how to do is leave some shit. Bye bye Doteasy. Hello Dreamhost. It took about 24 hours for the entire switch, a drop in the bucket considering all of the downtime that we’ve had. Plus, when I wrote them mofos at DE and told them we were leaving they had the audacity to ask why. Check your email bruh.
But don’t get to comfortable DreamHost. I’m taking you up on your 97 day money back guarantee on a terabyte (TB) of bandwidth. I’m known for picking up and changing cities. I have no problem with developing a reputation for hosting em and leaving em.
P.S. DreamHost claims to have this hellafied referral program. *shrug* They say they give you $97 for each person that you refer that signs up. Well, out of my $97 reward I’m giving away between $30 and $77, depending on the plan you sign up for. *shrug* What do I have to lose? At least my website works now. LOL Checkout DreamHost. Use promocode “GIMME” for my heckafied discount.