Ah yes, Valentine’s Day has come and gone once again. I heard someone telling stories about the ghosts of Valentine’s day past and decided to revisit mine. Tif and I started…showing interest in one another shortly before VD 2001. At the time, it really was just interest as we both were still *seeing* other people. I know, I know. It was wrong, but hey, the love of your life might not be exactly single when you meet them. What are you gonna do? Anyway…when Cupid Day finally rolled around, both Tif (in Baltimore) and myself (in school in Philly) found ourselves stood up by our not quite significant others. We ended up chatting the night away on AIM and I’m almost positive that Tif still has the logs from that night saved someplace. During the conversation he asked me what gift’s I had gotten that year. I told him that not only had I not received a gift this year, but that I couldn’t recall ever getting a VD gift. He mocked shock and we laughed about it. I think that his stand-up-er ended up calling and that was the end of our convo that night.
The next day, I got a call from my insignificant crack head inviting me to lunch at my then favorite restaurant to try to make up for his inconsiderate behavior the night before. While at lunch with dungboy, I get a text from Tif.
Him: Go and see Shawn in the package room.
What? I’m confused. Da hell is he talking about? The fact that one of the dude’s that worked in my college’s package room really was named Shawn was not lost on me at all. The question was how did Tif know that and what the hell was he talking about?
By now, a hint of smile was starting to appear on my face and all of my attention was focused on my phone while I was waiting on Tif’s reply. The ex-con (as I would later find out he was) was starting to get upset on the other side of the table, as if he somehow knew that whatever was going on at the other end of my phone was quickly panning out to spell his demise **forever**. I vaguely remember him protesting, because really, who the hell cares what he was trying to say. He had stood me up on the most important date night of the year and now he was trying to throw salt in someone else’s game. Bump that!
Tif: Shawn has a package for you.
Me: Really? What is it?
Tif: Go see Shawn and find out.
WHOO!!! A secret surprise gift that had made its way to my package room without my knowledge from my now rapidly growing love interest.
Ole boy: What are you texting on your phone? What’s so interesting?
Me: Oh, nothing. Um, are you done eating? We should get the check.
Ole boy: Why? What’s the hurry? I figured we could go back to your dorm room and spend some time.
Me: Um, didn’t you say you had someplace to be? I distinctly remember you saying you had someplace to be.
Ole boy: I got time.
Needless to say, dumbass insisted on coming upstairs to my room. I think I let him watch tv for a good 4 minutes before making up some excuse to boot him out. I remember walking him all the way to the edge of campus before racing back in the absolute opposite direction to hook up with Shawn in my package room. Turns out that Tif had bought me a Blue’s Clues body pillow and had it overnighted to me as my first ever Valentine’s Day gift. Of course there’s a story behind why he got me Blue, but I’ll save that for another time.
Fast forward a few days later. Fophead called to say that he was in the neighborhood and wanted to know if he could come up and visit. I sighed and told him yeah, figuring that I might as well go ahead and put him out of his misery face to face. Blue was laying in the middle of my bed when he came in. “Oh, I guess that’s what Tif got you for Valentine’s day?” I stared at him blankly before answering yes. And I tell ya, this wasn’t the last time that a man that I had never mentioned Tif’s name to, would magically pull it out of his ass somehow. Maybe that’s the reason why Tif began referring to that dude as “The Swami”, because of his keen psychic abilities. Me and dude sat in my room in silence for several minutes. As I was working up the words to tell him to fuck off, he hands me Musiq Soulchild’s Aijuswanaseing. “Here, I want you to have this”, he says. I look and the cd is opened, used, and listened to numerous times. I frown “Um, thanx, but I already have it”. “Well I want you to have this one, from me.” Pathetic. In the end, I never had to tell him to fuck off. Apparently, not only was he psychic, but he was fricking perceptive. He never called me again.
I still have both copies of that Musiq cd for some reason. Probably because I don’t believe in regifting used shit to people. Dumbass.